Monday, April 18, 2011

Submission Marie

Name: Marie Rearden

Email: marie (at) marierearden (dot) com

Title and genre: DEADLY DARK DREAMS--Paranormal YA

Pitch: Kat Wake escapes death by agreeing to steal her teacher’s memories of the afterlife. But he’s on his own mission. He wants her soul.

1st 250 words:

Prep schools aren’t just for the preppy. Poor schmo types like me migrate to places like Harrington Dove Academy to escape the greatest horror of our seventeen-year-old lives.


I woke to two, tone deaf voices making sounds that were parrot, monkey, and tornado siren all at once. Okay, so maybe they were singing. My roommate and I had the pleasure of cheerleader suitemates, and though I try not to believe stereotypes, these girls confirmed every one I’d ever heard about pom-pom pushers. I cringed at a particularly loud warble and wondered how much booze they snuck by the resident advisor last night. Or with her help. Our RA wanted to be legal like elephants want peanuts.

By quarter past nine, the brain children next door were quiet/passed out/dead, and I rolled out of bed to pack for the holiday break. I pulled onto the highway an hour later, cursing the sprinkles that dotted my windshield. Mom hadn’t called back after last night’s fiasco, but I wasn’t surprised. She didn’t know how to check her texts without help, and forget Dad. He was hopeless when it came to cell phones.

I passed a caravan of senior citizens using the left lane for sightseeing and set the cruise control with more force than necessary, plastering my eyes to the road. Honestly, I didn’t trust myself not to snarl at the lead driver of what had to be a Henry Ford original.


  1. The pitch confused me at first, and I think it's because you didn't capitalize Death. I kept wondering who wanted Kat's soul, then I realized it was the Grim Reaper.

    In terms of the opening, watch the tone. This comes off as too sarcastic and negative to me. Also, the cliches are over the top. We should be able to relate to Kat and right now, I don't.

    This can all be fixed though. Good luck!