Monday, April 18, 2011

Submission Kimberly

Name: Kimberly A Miller
Title: TRIANGLES--YA urban fantasy

Pitch: A seventeen-year-old girl experiences bizarre alternate realities when her cruise ship enters the mysterious Bermuda Triangle.

First 250 words:

I spotted her shivering figure cowering under a tall pine tree. Pulling up to the dark curb, I slammed the car into park and dimmed the lights. She slinked across the lawn and yanked the passenger door open.

“Get in!” I whispered. “Hurry!”

“Where are we going?” Nisha slid into the passenger seat and wiped the sleep from her eyes. Her bedhead and Happy Bunny pajamas forced a chuckle out of me.

“Trystan wants to see me. Just for a few minutes.” I shoved the car into drive and stomped on the gas pedal. “We’re meeting him at the reservoir. You have to keep watch for us in case the cops patrol the park.” I turned down the back road leading to the reservoir. Our heads bobbed and jerked as my mom’s old Ford Taurus navigated the uneven blacktop at high speed.

“Damn, Autumn Rayne! You woke me up to screw around with your boyfriend?” Nisha let out a giant yawn. “You suck.”

I kept my eyes on the unlit road. “Shut up. You’re my best friend. I’d do the same for you.”

She grabbed the steering wheel and tugged. “Turn this thing around right now.” The car listed to the right.

“Nisha! Let go!” I yanked her hands off the wheel, causing the car to bank left. I had just enough time to see the huge ditch on the side of the road to know we were screwed.


  1. This sounds like such an awesome premise. The suspense in the beginning is nicely balanced with voice and page-turning hooks.

    I can't think of anything to add or change. Sorry, I can't be of more help. I'd buy this as it is.

  2. LOVE the premise and voice!
    From the getgo, you capture the readers interest. It's action packed and makes me want to know what's going to happen next.
    Nice job!!! Can't wait to see this on shelves!