Monday, April 18, 2011

Submission Jay

Name: Jay Eckert
EMail: eckertnj [at] gmail [dot] com
Title & Genre: URBAN MYTHOS, YA Urban Fantasy
Pitch: When teenage Zydeco's friends disappear, the transformed Griffin unravels a plot to send fellow ex-mythological creatures to their death.

First 250 Words:

"My name is Zydeco, and I am a recovering mythological creature." I stood at the makeshift podium and looked out over the musty, high ceilinged room, my fingers clutching the stone hanging on the black rope around my neck.

It was Tuesday, which meant two things. First, this clandestine support group meeting, for which it was my turn to speak, and second, chemistry homework with that done-at-midnight quality. Moments ago, the regulars had finished up their conversations and hunkered down into the rows of folding chairs with stale donuts in hand. Some newbies continued to mill about the cramped YMCA gymnasium, their eyes darting around nervously. This was the most popular group of its kind in the city, and as a result everyone sat in rows instead of a circle.

As one out of tune voice, they answered, "Hello, Zydeco."

The canned response didn't always make me crack up, but after hearing it about eight hundred times, I couldn't help but chuckle a little. I swear, sometimes I thought they were sheep -- the weird, legendary kind that flies and craps rubies. Don't get me wrong, these guys were great and everything. They had done the human thing for a heck of a lot longer than I had.

Octavio, the support group organizer, bustled to the front row, shushing everyone and motioning the stragglers to their seats. As usual, when he parked himself, coffee slopped over the edge of the styrofoam cup and onto his yellow tie.

4 comments:

  1. I really liked this. The set up is very Chuck Palahunik-like, in that everything is described with a bit of amusement and a bit of disdain.

    The premise itself is very confusing. I had to read it at least four times to understand what it was about, and even then I'm still confused. I think if worded a little mroe clearly it would knock some socks off.

    In contrast, the first 250 words absolutely SHINED. I would love to read more!!

    Good luck!

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  2. I enjoyed this one. The pitch got my attention. It's straightforward and makes this sound like a fun read. The first line grabbed me, and I enjoyed the images the writing put in my mind. Nice entry.

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  3. Nice opening. I like how he seems like a recovering addict.

    I'd read on. :)

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  4. Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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