Monday, April 18, 2011

Submission Carolyn

NAME: Carolyn Chambers Clark
EMAIL: cccwellness@earthlink.net
TITLE/GENRE: JANE EYRE, BEWARE, contemporary YA

PITCH: A plucky future lawyer plots to teach her JANE EYRE co-star a lesson, setting up a battle royal that could cost her admission to Columbia University.

250:

Senior Class Motto: Knowledge is the locker, but I forgot the combination


If I hadn't opened my big mouth the first week of senior year and asked what I could do to get a good grade in my psychology elective, I wouldn't feel trapped in this empty classroom with my teacher staring at me.


It's what I wanted, but now I feel like
exhibit A. I hope he can't read my mind and discover I think he's hot. Not that I'd ever act on it, but a girl can fantasize… I start to worry that he may not like girls with brown hair. I could dye my hair blonde or red, but I'm not sure which…


Mr. Tandish adjusts his tie and leans back against his desk chair to give me a closer look at his dimples. Just when I'm picturing the two of us together in the back of his convertible with my hair half-blonde and half-red, he says, "You're very bright, Jane, but you may have psychological issues that could hamper your grades."

His woodsy aftershave, which a minute ago smelled sexy, now makes me dizzy. I squirm in my chair and wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. "Me? Psychological issues? It's not schizophrenia, is it? Still, if I start hearing voices, I'll have somebody to talk to because my only friend moved away."


My cheeks start to feel hot. I'm talking too much. I hope he doesn't think I'm blushing.

2 comments:

  1. Hi. I think your pitch sounds too old for YA,especially the part about the future lawyer. You might consider something like:
    A plucky high school senior plots to teach her JANE EYRE co-star a lesson, setting up a battle royal that could cost her admission to Columbia University.

    I love your opening line, but what follows makes me wonder if she is in a psych class of one or in the school psychologist's office. Maybe a little clarity would help there. Otherwise I think this has great voice and I can already picture a girl who is crushing on her teacher! Good job!

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