NAME: Carolyn Chambers Clark
EMAIL: cccwellness@earthlink.net
TITLE/GENRE: JANE EYRE, BEWARE, contemporary YA
PITCH: A plucky future lawyer plots to teach her JANE EYRE co-star a lesson, setting up a battle royal that could cost her admission to Columbia University.
250:
Senior Class Motto: Knowledge is the locker, but I forgot the combination
If I hadn't opened my big mouth the first week of senior year and asked what I could do to get a good grade in my psychology elective, I wouldn't feel trapped in this empty classroom with my teacher staring at me.
It's what I wanted, but now I feel like
exhibit A. I hope he can't read my mind and discover I think he's hot. Not that I'd ever act on it, but a girl can fantasize… I start to worry that he may not like girls with brown hair. I could dye my hair blonde or red, but I'm not sure which…
Mr. Tandish adjusts his tie and leans back against his desk chair to give me a closer look at his dimples. Just when I'm picturing the two of us together in the back of his convertible with my hair half-blonde and half-red, he says, "You're very bright, Jane, but you may have psychological issues that could hamper your grades."
His woodsy aftershave, which a minute ago smelled sexy, now makes me dizzy. I squirm in my chair and wipe my sweaty palms on my jeans. "Me? Psychological issues? It's not schizophrenia, is it? Still, if I start hearing voices, I'll have somebody to talk to because my only friend moved away."
My cheeks start to feel hot. I'm talking too much. I hope he doesn't think I'm blushing.
Hi. I think your pitch sounds too old for YA,especially the part about the future lawyer. You might consider something like:
ReplyDeleteA plucky high school senior plots to teach her JANE EYRE co-star a lesson, setting up a battle royal that could cost her admission to Columbia University.
I love your opening line, but what follows makes me wonder if she is in a psych class of one or in the school psychologist's office. Maybe a little clarity would help there. Otherwise I think this has great voice and I can already picture a girl who is crushing on her teacher! Good job!
ReplyDeleteI say many thanks to Mr. admin website I read this, because in this website I know a lot of information information that I did not know before his
Gejala Utama Kanker Rahim Yang Sering Dirasakan
Makanan Yang Harus Di Konsumsi Ibu Hamil Agar Bayi Cerdas
Penyebab Terjadinya Susah Tidur Atau Insomnia
Menu Diet Untuk Penderita Asma
Hilangkan Bekas Luka Di Wajah Secara Cepat Dengan Madu
Hilangkan Jerawat Dengan Kayu Manis
Gejala Kanker Tenggorokan Stadium Awal
Sayuran Mengandung Serat Tinggi Baik Bagi Penderita Wasir
Ayo Hilangkan Wasir Dengan Konsumsi Sengkuang
Obat Alami Penghilang Benjolan Di Leher