Monday, April 18, 2011

Submission Liz F.

Name: Liz Fredericks

Email: liz_fredericks@yahoo.com

Title & Genre: COUNCIL OF RUTH -- women’s contemporary fiction with romantic elements

Pitch: When a funamentalist cult murders famous women and a feminist author disappears, a detective works to stop the Atonement Killer.

1st 250 words:
Remember the Alamo. Yeah. Cole wouldn’t forget this one. The report on a serial killer with an agenda rolled into the Renaissance Unit from New York a week ago. And now – San Antonio. Sociopathic bastard.

“Jones. Homeland.” He badge-flashed the last of the three perimeter checks set by locals for that morning’s body.

At least somebody around here knew protocol. Surprising, it being so far from the east coast and civilization. New York was on the ball. Barely a day from time of death until the report went to the Fusion Center. The attack was more subtle than blowing up a building, but the Big Apple didn’t dick around with terrorism. They posted the incident within an hour of Atonement’s first press release. Cole was en route in two.

The New York victim’s ID was too easy. The WABC news anchor was famous for her beauty and her staunch defense of same sex marriage. That Atonement wrapped her media credentials in pages from the Bible was – as the queasy young officer shuddering next to him would say – ‘gravy’. You gotta admire a southern metaphor.

Cole glanced over to the gray features of his local liaison. The poor kid was gonna hurl again. “Do we have ID?”

“Yep. We’ll verify, but most everyone knows Reverend Best.” The younger man caught Cole’s glare. “Er, sir. Tentative, sir. We think the deceased was an Episcopalian minister.”

Cole caught sight of the body. “Oh hell.”

3 comments:

  1. Hi Liz!

    I'm liking your story already! Edgy writing, a murder (or three), and some humour mixed in...You've caught me and I'd like to see more.

    A few suggestions...
    -After reading your pitch and first 250 wds, the story sounds like a murder/mystery to me. Am I missing something?

    -Your backstory bit helps place me, but you may want to weave it in a little later in the story. Half of your first 250 is backstory- which is alot when you are trying to catch the reader.

    All in all, great job! Good luck in the contest!

    Brenda

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  2. Love the voice. I like the way you weave both what is happening and the backstory in at the same time. Not too much of either but enough to keep the reader looking for more.

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