Monday, April 18, 2011

Submission Jamie

Jamie McHenry

When Rhiannon's boyfriend is kidnapped, her quest to save him forces her to choose between the Faerie life she loves and losing him forever.

For as long as I could remember, Faeries had danced at Stone Meadow.
I loved dancing and the night was perfect, like a dream; I was innocent to its graces. Raising my arms, I leaned my head back to absorb glowing blue rays on my face and hands. Then I closed my eyes and caressed the cold tips of grass with my feet, repeating the familiar sway of my steps. As a frosty wisp of air stirred me from my trance, I swept my gown in a circle and spun gracefully to where my young sister, Leila, sat watching.

She reached up and parted a long strand of hair from my face. “That was wonderful,” she said. “Are you nervous for tomorrow?”

“Oh, yes.” I fell to the grass and sighed. “I can’t believe this is happening.” Then I covered my face with both hands and moaned with joy. “Everything is going to change.”

Leila rolled onto her stomach and leaned on her elbows, propping her chin with her palms. “What is it like to be in love?”

I grinned at her curiosity and stretched my arms straight. “It’s like dancing barefoot in the meadow under moonlight,” I told her. “Love tickles your toes and then climbs to your heart.” I rolled on the grass. “It spirals toward your fingertips as you spin and spin. Then it reaches up to the moon, grabs its rays, and pulls them down like a warm blanket.”

Leila sighed loudly. My sister’s wide eyes revealed their wanting.


  1. You have a great premise, and your first page reminds me of dancing barefoot on the grass. Very cool imagery. I'd only suggest that, instead of showing me she's in love, show me WHY she's in love, so I can fall in love, too. And perhaps more of a hint about what will happen tomorrow--is she getting married? What will change?

    I do love the interplay with the sisters--lots of natural affection, there. Good work.