Name: Cassandra
Email: CassandraStryffe@yahoo.com
Title and Genre: ZOMBIE DIAPERS-light horror
Pitch: In a world where the walking corpses of loved ones are the most mundane danger 18 yr old Liz tries to raise an infant & forge a new life
First 250 words:
I stared down at the tiny bundle in the old laundry basket and sighed. I needed to go out and get a few things, things I had never thought I would need. I hadn't stockpiled anything for babies, hadn't given any thought to what allowing other people in here would mean to my hoarded supplies. Now I needed to. I sat back on my heels and pondered just how the hell I got here. A few months ago everything had been normal. I was shopping for the perfect dress for prom, Brad was taking me in a limo that he had rented for just the two of us. I was getting my nails done and bitching about my measly 100$ a month allowance. Then the unthinkable happened. I wouldn't have survived if it hadn't been for the weird old guy across the street. He saved me, and a few others. But now they were all gone and me and this tiny, tiny baby were all that was left. Shaking my head I decided I didn't have time to sit there and re-hash old memories. Someone was counting on me. She needed me. And I didn't know the first thing about babies.
My family had been fairly well off, not rich, but comfortable. I had never babysat, and I was an only child (and something of a surprise to my folks who were in their 40's when they had me).
Now I had to figure out how to feed and change and whatever else a baby.
Everyone is welcome to visit and stay for the fun. Author of PERFECTION, release date July 16, 2013, and FLAWED release date August 12, 2014. Published by Spencer Hill Press.
Yay, a fellow zombiest. Story has great potential, but here's what I think. Rewrite. This opening screams out to be a scene. A scene has a goal and conflict and something happens. The goal could be getting things for the baby, but then I think she should go and get those things and have some issue with the environment or something exciting and conflictual. You wrote: I sat back on my heels and pondered. Not so exciting. All this explanation has to happen, but not in the first page. Ideally, she wants something and can't get it. We can learn about what sort of person she is from her reactions to things. Anyway, just a thought for what it's worth. Thanks.
ReplyDeleteI say many thanks to Mr. admin website I read this, because in this website I know a lot of information information that I did not know before his
ReplyDeleteGejala Utama Kanker Rahim Yang Sering Dirasakan
Makanan Yang Harus Di Konsumsi Ibu Hamil Agar Bayi Cerdas
Penyebab Terjadinya Susah Tidur Atau Insomnia
Menu Diet Untuk Penderita Asma
Hilangkan Bekas Luka Di Wajah Secara Cepat Dengan Madu
Hilangkan Jerawat Dengan Kayu Manis
Gejala Kanker Tenggorokan Stadium Awal
Sayuran Mengandung Serat Tinggi Baik Bagi Penderita Wasir
Ayo Hilangkan Wasir Dengan Konsumsi Sengkuang
Obat Alami Penghilang Benjolan Di Leher