Monday, April 18, 2011

Submission Kalen

Name: Kalen O'Donnell

Email: kalenodonnell (at)

Title and Genre: DUST TO DUST -- YA Fantasy

Pitch: Neither Micah nor his siblings know where their magic comes from or why they're cursed to try and kill each other on sight.

First 250 words:

For my sixteenth birthday, my oldest brother tried to kill me.


I was at Starbuck's getting a celebratory scone when the shadows peeled off the walls and came for me. I cursed and dove for the floor. The hot chick waiting in front of me turned, eyebrows raised over heavily made up eyes. Her perfect lips parted. For a split second I fantasized she was about to ask what I was doing later. Wait, nope, I wasn't getting laid anytime soon. That was actually just her screaming because magic shadows were slashing through the fabric of her Grateful Dead t-shirt. One more reason to hate my brother.

I grabbed her leg and yanked her down to the floor with me. Terror was the coffee shop's new special of the day as patrons and employees stampeded for the exit. I suffered a few accidental kicks when dragging my damsel in distress and me under the nearest table for cover. Said cover was of course brimming with shadows.

Brilliant, Micah.

A midnight black hand reached for my ankle and I tapped my own magic. Dust raced from every corner of the room and stormed the air in furious clouds. The shadows kept coming, undeterred - and Mom wondered why I had insecurity issues. Trent could kill with shadows. Serena could drown you with your own tears. Alice walked through mirrors, Dennis could pull blood from a stone, but me? Oh yeah. Fear the mystic might of my magical dust bunnies!



  1. I love this.

    It has great voice and I'm already rooting for the main character. (The combination of the his insecurity while also calmly diving out of the way of a attack of killer shadows is great.)

    And the dust bunny line is excellent.

  2. Like I keep saying, I love your voice. BRIMMING WITH VOICE. Love it.

  3. LOVE it! Great descriptions and voice. Your premise sounds so cool!!! I wanted to keep reading and find out what happens.

    One thing... the word t-shirt should be
    T-shirt. One of my crit partners corrected me on that in my MS. :)