Sunday, September 18, 2011

Rachel McClellan --post 3

Genre: Urban fantasy
Word count: 215

He didn’t dare move. The sight of her in this place, meant only for the dead, entirely collapsed the world he’d so carefully created.

It was Eve who broke the spell first. She walked gracefully among the headstones, never lowering her eyes from his. Stopping mere inches from him, she tenderly took his hand in hers and moved it to her parted lips.

Lucien moaned in anguish. He couldn’t fight the attraction between them any longer. With both hands, he cradled Eve’s face. He leaned his forehead against hers, eyes closed. She nuzzled him with her cheek and when he felt her warm breath, he let his lips touch hers. A warming sensation raced through his body as if hot water had been poured into him. His lips lingered, wanting to remember this moment forever. Then, hesitantly, his mouth began to move, and his tongue slid along her pink flesh. Eve pulled him closer.

With their bodies pressed tight, the gentle kiss turned into one of longing and passion. All external sounds joined the dead six feet under; even rain’s icy touch left them alone. Together they had created a place of light and beauty, one of peace and serenity. Their kiss lasted only moments, but the power it created transcended time and all eternity.


  1. Love the way you draw us in with movement and need. Awesome! Great job.

  2. Okay, so the title alone makes me want to read this. Especially since I just finished The Eternal Ones and loved it.

    But I love the first paragraph too. Want to know more about the world he had created and why. The setting is eerily romantic too.

    I love when a writer does a great job mixing dark with light like this. I tend to think that adds to romance. Great job! Super writing!

    Loved it Rachel! Great job!

  3. If only it were real. Very nicely done!

  4. Loved this makes me want to read more and flesh in the story. The characters give the story color and richness. Good job!

  5. Great job! I'm anxious to read more!

  6. Really nice build up to the kiss I could picture it clearly, and I like the setting of it happening in a cemetery.

  7. I loved your descriptions, and the fact that it's taking place in a cemetery, since i love exploring cemeteries.