Sunday, September 18, 2011

Jenny --post 10

Genre: YA Urban Fantasy
Title: Rivers Underneath

“Beautiful night,” a voice spoke from the shadows. It sounded deep, firm, steady. Male.

Emma’s heart skipped and she drew toward the figure hidden beside the garage.

“Gabe?” She caught her breath as he stepped into a pool of light, tall and well muscled. The moonlight traced the edges of his face and reflected in his sun-kissed hair.

“Hi, Emma.”

Part of her wanted to rush forward and wrap her arms around his neck, but she refrained. They had both been children the last time they’d met and their friendship had been the innocent friendship of childhood. “I thought I saw you in the woods,” she said.

He hesitated. A whisper of uncertainty cracked through his quiet emotions, still so familiar and comforting in spite of the years they’d spent apart. His calm permeated the air around him and she felt like she could breath for the first time since he’d left.

“I wasn’t sure you’d want to see me,” he said. “It’s been a long time.”

“Too long,” Emma said, instantly regretting her words. He didn’t need to know how she’d counted the years. “I mean, I haven’t seen you since you moved.”

Gabriel tentatively moved toward her. She could feel immense strength and vitality behind the steady, careful control of his movements, but stepped toward him.

“Five years is too long,” he said. “I started to forget.”

Emma smiled. “I haven’t forgotten you,” she said.

A small smile caught his lips. “I haven’t forgotten you either.”


  1. Great scene. I love the inner dialogue and the close POV of your mc. It drew me in to what she was feeling. Great job

  2. I like the build up of this. Can't wait to see how things with the MC progress.

  3. This is a very nice moment and very telling about what could possibly happen between them in the future

  4. I like how this one builds tension about their relationship and what trajectory it might take.