Sunday, September 18, 2011

E. Arroyo--post 17

Title: Angel
Genre: YA supernatural Horror/thriller
set-up: not the first kiss but an important moment for both MC's.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered.

“Me too. About everything.” His voice came out bitter and he hated it.

She stiffened beside him and released his hand, lowering her eyes to the ground. “You don’t have to be so pushy,” she remarked, her voice tainted with pain.

He looked at her, his mouth hanging open. “Me? Pushy? You’re the one leading me by the nose here. I’m stupid enough to buy it.”

She gasped. “You’re such a baby. You tell me you love me and clam up like it came out of your second brain and I’m the one leading you?” her voice was high, the veins on her neck bulged.

He wanted to possess all of her. To take her right then and there and before he could even think of all the negative consequences of _that_ action, he pulled her tight against him, pinning her with his body and the truck, and claimed her. She squirmed under him as he ravaged her lips, tasting her. Anger swept through him giving him freedom. A release he had never known possible.

She put her palm on his chest and every cell in his body exploded in decadent ecstasy. He pressed himself closer ignoring her own warning of space. It only excited him more. He was done with this cat and mouse game with her. She was his.

He lifted her and settled her on the ground. She wrapped her arms around his neck and slipped forward pressing against his bulging pants. If he were a god he would make their clothes disappear. He released her mouth and ravaged her neck, and explored every inch of her body. He needed to feel her bare flesh against him it was what drove him.

“Jake stop,” she whispered. But Jake could no longer find reason that didn’t lead to this. He felt like a man dying of a thirst only she could quench. It was both pain and ecstasy. He took her wrist and pinned them against her side. Heat trailed from her warm flesh, her scent wafted up his nostrils into his brain. His senses heightened to the point where she could no longer hide from him. She was embedded in his mind and soul. He laced his fingers around her jeans and began to inch them lower.

“Jake, stop,” she whispered through a haze of thick air. She pushed his hand away. “Stop it.”

He opened his eyes to her and saw fear. Raw fear. He laughed. A deep throaty laughter. His body covered her. She couldn’t move. “I can take you right now and make you scream.” His voice deep. “We were meant to be together Angel, Always.”

“Why are you doing this?” her voice broke, sending sharp needles through him. He blinked and the sudden realization burned through him. Could he make her scream? Could he force himself on her? Isn’t that what Pat did to her? He breathed heavily and stood up, a searing pain flittered up his back.


  1. Um, Jake? What the H do you think you're doing? He reminds me of Damon on The Vampire Diaries and I sooo love Damon. Your sample kept me reading, and I could picture it perfectly. Good job!

  2. I enjoyed that this was from a male POV. The sense of physical touch was very vivid and there was a good sense of visual imagery, without going overboard.