Sunday, September 18, 2011

Stephanie S.--post 12

Genre: YA sci-fi
Title: The End World

His gaze was on me but I didn’t want to look at him. Before I could go around him, he grabbed me by the wrist. I yanked my arm out of his grasp but he was already surrounding me with his arms.

“Lana, stop,” his calm voice was in my ear.

“Fuck you! You betrayed me! Just like him!” I spat on his shoulder. I tried to break his iron hold but he wouldn’t budge. “Let go of me!”

“I can’t let you go out. It’s daylight. They’ll spot you.”

“Like I care. You lied to me. You all freaking lied to me!” I screamed against his skin. Tears rushed down my cheeks and I didn’t care if he saw me cry. I screamed again, louder, just an animal howl, expelling the rage in my chest.

“I care,” Alex finally answered. “And what if they spot this place, what about the others?”

I tried the ‘play dead’ strategy and went limp. “I’m not gonna try to leave, you can let go now,” I whispered.

His arms relaxed but he grabbed my hands, not letting go. Our fingers intertwined. I let my head rest against his chest and I closed my eyes.

We stood there in silence, salty moisture at the corner of my mouth. The recycling fans hummed in the background, only witness to our truce. He finally released me and I thought he was going to leave but instead he brushed my hair away from my neck and kissed the corner of my jaw. A shiver ran down my back and I looked up at him. His eyes anchored on mine, his brow furrowed with concern. In that moment, I could see it all, all the deepest parts of him: his concern, his maturity and his history.

I tasted him, my lips brushing his. He caught my kiss midstream and pressed harder against my mouth, raw in his eagerness. His tongue parted my lips, burrowing further into my soul. I stopped thinking for a second. I forgot about my father, about The Program and about my failed mission. There were only his lips on mine and his arm supporting my back. His teeth tucked gently at my lower lip and a moan escaped me.

My hand went up to his head, holding the back of his neck, my fingers laced in his hair.

Even though I didn’t want to stop kissing him, I pulled away.

I looked up at him, searching his face for regret. He smiled, the dimples I loved so much at the corner of his mouth.

“Did I finally shut you up?”

I looked down, self-conscious and worried I had enjoyed his kiss way too much.

“Hey, hey,” he raised my chin with his finger, anchored his eyes on mine. “We are doing nothing wrong, you know that, right?”

Were we?


  1. There is a whole lot of passion crammed in here! So much tension and anger and desire all rolled into one. Great job!

  2. I really like this one because it's intense in so many different ways. I love the I hate you but I really love you feel. And I'm always a sucker for a scene where the girl is frantic and irrational and the guy is calm, cool, and collected, and yet he puts up with her and loves her entirely.

    Plus I think we get a good sense of what kind of conflict she's feeling outside of this scene with the details given.

    Lots of heat. Always good. Loved the shut you up line.

    Strong tight writing. Great descriptions.

    Good job, Stephanie!