Sunday, September 18, 2011

Rachel McClellan--post 2

Genre: Urban fantasy
Word count: 312

Christian handed me a small, unwrapped box.

"I really wished you wouldn't have," I said as I opened it.

Inside was a silver necklace with what looked like a dog tag hanging from its chain. I pulled it out and tried to read the inscription. It read: Αντέξει μέχρι το τέλος.

"It’s beautiful. Thank you. What does it say?"

"Endure to the End in Greek."

I looked at it closer. "Endure to the end," I whispered. The metal tag had been etched in a circular pattern reminding me of the symbol for eternity.

I turned around. "Will you put it on me?"

He took the ends of the necklace, and, after pushing my hair to the side of my neck, fastened it.

"Why did you choose that inscription?" I asked.

His hands moved to my shoulders. "I know I don't act like it all the time, but you have no idea how much you mean to me." He swallowed. "I need you to endure, to do all that you can to see that you live a good long life. I couldn't bare it if anything were to happen to you."
His body moved close to mine.

In one swift motion I turned around and stared into his eyes. Any thoughts of him thinking I was like a sister were immediately erased. He was looking at me with such passion that I wondered how he was able to hide it for so long.

Christian leaned his forehead against mine and very slowly his hands moved to my waist. My lips parted and air escaped. The sound must’ve startled him because all of a sudden he froze and closed his eyes. His jaw muscles bulged.

"I'm going to go set up a game or something," he said and walked away.

"Can it be twister?" I called after him.

He didn't answer.


  1. I loved the twist at the end! What a great way to build suspense!

  2. The humor at the end seems to prolong the tension. Good job!

  3. I like the build up it was very tense and when the kiss didn't happen I was disappointed!