Sunday, September 18, 2011

erica and christy --post 5

Name: Christy Hintz
Genre: YA Contemporary
Email: nc_hintz(at)

Set up: This scene (323 words) is when Shelby and Dane share their first (forbidden) kiss. Shelby started dating the "guy of her dreams", Bryant, after crushing on him for the past two years, and Dane had always just been the annoying guy whose locker neighbored hers...until recently.

I stood up when he did, and before I turned back toward the house, he grabbed my hand.


I didn’t get a chance to look up and see his eyes before his lips were on mine. There was nothing shivering in me now. Instead, every part of me melted into him. His warm lips moved on mine. Mine followed right along. I wrapped my arms around him and slid my fingertips up into his hair.

Before I knew what happened, he pulled away. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have. You, you have—.”

Panic rushed to my head. “Bryant.” The panic dropped to my stomach and I felt sick. How could I go from feeling so happy and amazing to feeling the gut-clenching guilt I felt now? “I totally forgot about him.”

“I didn’t.” It came out in a whispered groan. “I’m sorry.”

“I’m a terrible person.” I tried to clear my head after having drunk up too much of the starry night and firelight.

He tugged on my hand and led me to the house. He stopped by the wood pile and faced me. Too close. I’d forget again in a heartbeat. I looked up at him and he looked down at me. The dark surrounded us, a blanket hiding us from the world.

“It wasn’t your fault. You—. I—. Damn. Shelby, I’ve—.”

I put my hand on his chest to stop him from saying whatever he was about to say. “No, it was my fault. A girl with a boyfriend shouldn’t act like this.” Shouldn’t feel like this. I took my hand off him and stepped away. “I have to go.”

He nodded and walked me to my car.

In silence.

After the door shut, I rolled down the window. “Thank you. I had a lot of fun.” Lame. I’d had more than fun. But what was there to say when it ended on such a bittersweet note?


  1. There is something very sweet about this scene - sweet and still melty. I love this line: "having drunk up too much of the starry night and firelight." I've felt that before, especially as a teen. Great voice. Great job.

  2. I also love the idea of getting drunk off of a beautiful night. There's a faint hint of avoiding responsibility that is so teen. My heart broke for the guy. I think I've been in his place, back when I was in high school. It sucks.

    I totally want these two together. Good job!