Tuesday, July 26, 2011

Revised Entry 6 Beth

Title: MARTYR
Genre: Paranormal Thriller
Contact: Bethany Ray

PITCH: When she is thrust unwillingly into a deadly feud between politics and the mafia, all Evelyn wants to do is save the Senator's daughter - the girl that went from being Eveyln's job to the only friend she had ever known. In order to do that, she has to be willing to go on the offensive, sacrificing her own safety - and possibly her own life.

SECOND SENTENCE OF FIRST CHAPTER: "You know ignoring my dad isn't going to help. He'll just send the secret service after you."

FIRST 250 OF SECOND CHAPTER:
A week later, I’m up earlier than normal. The blackout curtains in my own bedroom helped shield the bright morning light, making it easier to sleep in as late as I wanted on weekends. Chloe was probably loving that.

Already annoyed with waking up on my couch in a house my money was paying for; my body flexed and stretched the kinks and tightness. Then I heard the sound of my own shower from behind the closed bedroom door.

It was only the first day of my new living arrangement, and already I was missing Amber. While she might have been a bitch and a little bit crazy, she at least knew how much I loved sleeping in my own bed and taking a shower first thing in the morning.

Over an hour later, Chloe came from my bedroom clean and sparking in a short denim skirt with leggings and a white wrap shirt. Her red hair corkscrewed down her back and her make-up nothing short of perfect. She’d look that way since the first time I met her years ago - runway perfect.

“You have your own shower, and room, I might mention.”

She lowered her head for a moment, but the shine in her eyes started me, pushing any sarcastic retort I might have had sailing back down my throat.
“Why are you crying?”

She turned away again, rubbing a manicured finger under her nose. “I don’t like being snapped at.”

“Then your dad should have sent you somewhere else.”

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