Sunday, March 20, 2011

Submission #7

Name: Shreyonti Chakraborty

Title: The Bestselling Hate Book

Every minute I spent here was a nightmare but there was no way out. This was hell, my personal hell. Or maybe it could be called a factory. We, the students, were like cars coming down an assembly line, and our teachers opened our brains and poured in knowledge that would turn us into, well, a carbon copy of whoever it was that had come down this very assembly line about two minutes ago. I could call it hell or a factory or a centre for cruelty to children, but most people outside my little brain called it the coaching class.

A coaching class is a specialty of India. Given how many types of tourism the Indian government promotes these days, I suggest they start ‘coaching class’ tourism as well and people like, say, Barack Obama can come to India for it. In that way, Obama wouldn’t have to worry about controlling outsourcing and Indians taking away all the jobs, because he would know exactly how Indians managed to do it. Here students like me came to study science. We studied it in school too, but here we came to study all the high-level stuff. We all had one aim- to get into Indian Institute of Technology. For those of us who had other dreams (like me), our parents had said, “Four years at IIT won’t hurt. You get a vocational degree and then you can do whatever you want”. How could they be so blind as to not see how bad those four years could be for us?


  1. Overall, I liked the first paragraph, but, in my opinion, the second could be tightened up a little.

    Maybe direct the paragraph at one main point.

  2. I am unsure where you are gong with this. Most opening paragraphs are crystal clear (or they at least should be). Pull back a little and instead of loading on the Obama barrage, keep with the nice emotional set up from the first paragraph and continue the scene.