As promised, here is a second attempt at my query. I really hope this procedure might help others (and me) to see the development of a query from ground zero...see post below...to this one and possibly to others as it develops.
So please leave comments for everyone to see, so that we can help each other out.
Please note, this is just the body. Every query will be personalized to the agent.
Dear Wonderous Agent X,
Normal does not describe Ellyssa. She is superior, a picture of perfection. Genetically engineered to be faster, stronger, more intelligent, and emotionless. Not to mention, she’s a telepath. One of the few lethal soldiers of tomorrow.
But when she crosses paths with a dark-haired prisoner, the only world she's ever known, a world built around the concept of Aryan purity, crumbles. He speaks to her, not vocally, but in her mind. An inconceivable possibility according to her indoctrination.
Unable to resist the allure of his unspoken words, Ellyssa finds herself in turmoil, feeling emotions and running away from her life. What’s worse is she doesn’t even understand why.
PERFECTION is a young-adult, dystopian fantasy complete at 100,000 words.
Thank you for your time and consideration.