tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post8420743097907666006..comments2024-03-27T02:20:51.751-05:00Comments on J.L. Spelbring: Submission KarleneAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07804306924674002487noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-72722103433384945302015-12-22T01:10:53.957-06:002015-12-22T01:10:53.957-06:00Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life an...Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)<br /><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/QKOZ85" rel="nofollow">Manfaat Perawatan Susu Bagi Kesehatan Kulit Wajah Anda</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/aGJf12" rel="nofollow">Cara Menghilangkan Kanker Rahim Stadium Awal</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/7bzi4G" rel="nofollow">Cara Mengobati Ambeien Luar</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/a8dDSg" rel="nofollow">Obat Herbal Tumor Kelenjar Parotis</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/QMwjYI" rel="nofollow">Tips Pengobatan Alternatif Diabetes Melitus</a><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/Ubx6Wg" rel="nofollow">Obat Kolesterol Alami Untuk Melawan Kolesterol Jahat</a><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/Se6eJT" rel="nofollow">Solusi Sehat Dengan Herbal Alami </a><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/MPfgti" rel="nofollow">Pengobatan Syaraf Kejepit Di Kaki</a><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/7ddzfh" rel="nofollow">Obat Diabetes Herbal Terbaik</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/wc3QOB" rel="nofollow">Pengobatan Tumor Bibir Atas Dan Bawah</a> <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04723201723175985290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-36529341152006538192011-04-19T22:41:25.109-05:002011-04-19T22:41:25.109-05:00You had me hooked from the pitch. You have a great...You had me hooked from the pitch. You have a great voice. I'd totally keep reading to know what adventures Darby has to face.Michelle Merrillhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00040685503147648297noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-90014767756766142302011-04-19T21:13:36.260-05:002011-04-19T21:13:36.260-05:00How fun! Great pitch with an excellent lead in. I ...How fun! Great pitch with an excellent lead in. I loved Darby right away and would definitely keep reading.Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05130733681254163610noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-15138206486032425302011-04-19T18:28:51.318-05:002011-04-19T18:28:51.318-05:00I love your pitch. It made me think the story is f...I love your pitch. It made me think the story is fast-paced.<br /><br />I was a little worried at the slow beginning. After 250 words she is still sitting - waiting. <br /><br />I'm guessing there is a conversation between Darby and the chief's pilot sometime soon after the first 250 words. I wonder if somewhere around that conversation might be a better place to start.<br /><br />I can only guess, but I'm willing to bet this initial description of Darby isn't needed. You have great voice and I think her character/personality will come out quickly - maybe even during the conversation with the chief's pilot.<br /><br />Love the story idea. Good luck.Shannon Heatherhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06346078649346825497noreply@blogger.com