tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post658905918805080496..comments2024-03-27T02:20:51.751-05:00Comments on J.L. Spelbring: Submission JessicaAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07804306924674002487noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-4237667471684727852015-12-22T00:46:53.221-06:002015-12-22T00:46:53.221-06:00I say many thanks to Mr. admin website I read this...<br />I say many thanks to Mr. admin website I read this, because in this website I know a lot of information information that I did not know before his<br /><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/tDCsvf" rel="nofollow">Makanan Sehat Penderita Diabetes Yang Enak </a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/HuN2AJ" rel="nofollow">Manfaat Pemberian Asi Eksklusif Bagi Ibu Dan Anak</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/XHST1p" rel="nofollow">Nasi Putih Bagi Penderita Diabetes</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/gepnIg" rel="nofollow">Informasi Tentang Makanan Penurun Kolesterol Jahat</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/IFpNYl" rel="nofollow">Hilangkan Flek Hitam Di Wajah Dengan Peeling</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/iCn7pZ" rel="nofollow">Atasi Kaki Bengkak Setelah Melahirkan</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/bAkbR9" rel="nofollow">Ramuan Tradisional Untuk Menghilangkan Wasir</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/KFGsaS" rel="nofollow">Cara Membuat Kulit Wajah Putih Bersih Dan Halus</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/EeqGfo" rel="nofollow">Tumbuhan Yang Dapat Dijadikan Obat Herbal</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/yTaiPW" rel="nofollow">Buah Buahan Yang Mengandung Banyak Antioksidan</a> <br />Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04723201723175985290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-46878375561603324402011-04-22T21:39:29.298-05:002011-04-22T21:39:29.298-05:00I'm going to start with two caveats... 1) I te...I'm going to start with two caveats... 1) I tend to have a different taste in books than most people, so do take that into account 2) I haven't read any fallen angel books, so I have no idea how unique your plot is. <br /><br />That said, I love the opening just because it has Michael, Uriel, Gabriel and oh yeah, GOD, in it. And your main character is giving them all the proverbial middle finger. I find that fascinating, and I immediately want to know why. <br /><br />That said, if this is a prologue and the first chapter is Seth in high school, leading some sort of ordinary life...I don't know, I might be disappointed. I'm really fascinated by the conflict with the angels. <br /><br />In terms of writing, there are some indications here that your writing could be more polished. The last word of the last sentence, you say, "poised." I think you meant "posed," but that sends up a red flag that there could be other problems with the manuscript. <br /><br />Also, that last paragraph doesn't flow right. There needs to be some sort of pause somewhere in there, it comes off as a run-on sentence, even if it might technically not be one. <br /><br />Good luck! I'm very curious about this story.Melissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11886151771194369513noreply@blogger.com