tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post5642989257581239446..comments2024-03-27T02:20:51.751-05:00Comments on J.L. Spelbring: Submission #10Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07804306924674002487noreply@blogger.comBlogger4125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-16286949723271070222015-12-22T01:26:32.474-06:002015-12-22T01:26:32.474-06:00Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life an...Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)<br /><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/6ODqIX" rel="nofollow">Obat Untuk Ibu Hamil Trimester Pertama</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/qwVJvx" rel="nofollow">Obat Herbal Wasir Cair Untuk Ibu Hamil</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/0MQ4EZ" rel="nofollow">Obat Penghilang Kanker Mulut</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/LgxMfD" rel="nofollow">Obat Insomnia Atau Susah Tidur Yang Aman</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/qIbdSE" rel="nofollow">Capsule Pembangkit Gairah Pria</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/mu1S0t" rel="nofollow">Obat Untuk Mempercepat Proses Penyembuhan Luka</a> <br /><a href="http://goo.gl/WynEhI" rel="nofollow">Cara Alami Menghilangkan Batu Empedu Tanpa Operasi</a><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/GMhvrs" rel="nofollow">Obat Polip Hidung Berdarah Tanpa Operasi</a><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/5PBX32" rel="nofollow">Obat Alami Jantung Rematik Yang Aman</a><br /><a href="http://goo.gl/5o4y5T" rel="nofollow">Mengobati Asma Akut Secara Alami</a>Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04723201723175985290noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-8536082824150141052011-04-05T18:58:36.280-05:002011-04-05T18:58:36.280-05:00Thanks for your comment, Lori!
Alyson--Excellent ...Thanks for your comment, Lori!<br /><br />Alyson--Excellent point. (What? My readers can't just figure out what she is because she has wings? How many things have wings? Oh....)<br /><br />Thanks so much for judging!Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09413777557796110450noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-44214591285826053462011-04-05T10:15:30.699-05:002011-04-05T10:15:30.699-05:00A few minor points to mention. Clarify who Moira ...A few minor points to mention. Clarify who Moira is and her connection to Brina. Clarify the wings. You let me go on for 250 words and began the beginning of a scene without mentioning what Brina is. Explain what she is first, then enter the scene. You don't want to lose your reader or have them guessing for too long!Alyson Petersonnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-82556178992222307362011-03-20T19:11:47.943-05:002011-03-20T19:11:47.943-05:00The wing in the first sentence threw me off but ot...The wing in the first sentence threw me off but other than that, this read really smoothly. I'm interested in why the kids are doing this to Brina. Great job.Lori M. Leehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/04858438789496971734noreply@blogger.com