tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post4192814564575069736..comments2024-03-27T02:20:51.751-05:00Comments on J.L. Spelbring: The Endings #10Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07804306924674002487noreply@blogger.comBlogger2125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-77514016319020797092012-01-12T13:14:16.253-06:002012-01-12T13:14:16.253-06:00I agree with Kate. I think you can definitely dra...I agree with Kate. I think you can definitely draw this out and give more details to really put the reader in the scene with Tony. <br /><br />I also agree about the punctuation and typos. There are a lot of missing commas. <br /><br />Finally, I will add that this feels like the climax of your story, rather than the ending. Read through the endings of some of your favorite novels and see how the author finishes. Generally speaking, you will usually see a climax (like what you have here), followed by a chapter or so of denouement, or closure to the story. <br /><br />Good luck!Larissahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08874147599272424056noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8526683900253948041.post-70167621681693281202012-01-12T11:48:16.102-06:002012-01-12T11:48:16.102-06:00What an exciting ending! But I think you can do m...What an exciting ending! But I think you can do more with it. Let the fight play out in more detail so the tension is really high when the cops burst in. I think you lose the tension when you cut to 'The room slowly was trashed as valuables got broken, tables were smashed, instruments fell.' instead of describing the action.<br /><br />Also, there are a lot of punctuation errors here, and a few typos. Proofreading is your friend....<br /><br />Good luck!Kate Larkindalehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06202347563426692610noreply@blogger.com